Chronic illness

Living with a chronic illness is something you can't understand tell it happens to you. You can read and hear about it all you want. Live with someone who has one. but it's never the same as having one. I am starting to learn I have to listen to my body more. Stop pushing my self. This is my reality. I am a not overly healthy person. I have been fighting it and thinking I can just go about things. I finally hit that wall. This is my rock bottom. I don't have the energy and strength to visit with someone or shower every day. Daily tasks are hard and sometimes near impossible to do with out being layed up. I think one reason I have been in denial is my mom also has an illness and I grew up watching her go from being healthy to bed ridden for years. She found that happy medium and now it's my turn to find mine. It's something I need to go at alone. I can't believe how lucky I am to have such a great muffin who supports and does everything in his power or understand what I'm going through.
This is my reality. I must accept it and own it.

Lost in every day life

I have been doing a lot of thinking about life etc
After a night out talking about cooking and Julia child and then watching Julia and Julie this week I realize I feel like Julie. I feel lost in the hustle and bustle. I have many many hobbies and interests but feel no direction. I wish I had the strength she had to buckle down. I have been doing a lot of cross stitching. I have started some Xmas gifts. Some neat cross stitch projects I hope people enjoy them :)

New puppy!

Our new puppy is such a sweet heart! She fallows me every where. I love her so much! She was just over a pound when we brought her home<3

Moxxi and mater are the best of friends! :) 

Both the loves of my life :)

Crafty

I am trying my hand at cross stitch for the first time. I joined a monthly cross stitch group where they send you a part of the pattern every month. I have been struggling. I keep missing stitches! But it's coming together nicely :) it will look really great in the end. The theme is once upon a time <3

Winter blues

I always feel down this time of year. This year seems worse. A lot of family stuff going on. Muffin is working a shift we don't see each other we actually pass each other on the road. We did get a new puppy and she is such a little love! So that going great and always makes my day. :) but it's the worst winter in like 80 years truckers are saying they have seen nothing like it. I have been stuck in a snow bank on the highway and also stuck on a closed highway for over 10 hours. Tonight again I had to miss work.  The highway is closed. I always feel so bad missing work but I can't keep risking my safety! I really hope this is the end of it it's been -50 for over a month. About 2 months to go! We are planing a trip to San Diego and Vegas for a week so that should help. Although I will miss my puppies. I don't trust people to take as good of care of them moxxi is to little to go out side (3lbs) and In a new house is gonna likely have accidents. mater is very allergic to a lot of food and muffins parents never listen to any of that. They always over feed him and he gets so chunky. I guess I just need to let go and be thankful they will look after them. I just hope we don't have a vet bill after with sick dogs :(

It's been a while....

Things have been crazy between family drama and work chaos I just haven't had time or felt up to writing. I have been in a pretty low place. Things have been slowly getting better and if I can make it past Thursday should be smooth sailing! Also we get our new little girl fur baby this weekend! We can't wait she is so little and cute! :) her name is moxxi and she is another mini weiner dog! This time Black and Tan <3 so here is hoping work stuff stays good so I can enjoy some time with her!  Then it's just getting past Xmas with out any more family drama ( yeah right)

Excitment!

We are getting a new puppy! This is so exciting our first dog is like our baby we love him so much! It's gonna be a baby girl mini doxie! So cute! Also lots of changes at work.  Things are very unsure for everyone. We will have to see what comes. Things have a way of working out I hope this is no different.